Let's face it. Somewhere between 2009 when I was going to school full-time and irregularly working out (swimming) at UNL, staying busy with Christian Challenge and always doing stuff and now...somewhere between two pregnancies, two kids, and fluctuating weight, big life changes, all kinds of catastrophies, stress, and emotions....I became a couch potato. I've always liked tv. I'm not the person who has shows I have to watch every week, although I do have shows I like to keep up on. It's not a huge priority.
You'd think that my life would have been so different after C came along. But after the first couple months, which were a certain kind of hell, she was easy. And she's always so active and independent, I was pretty active too. And even though I had a lot of issues with the pregnancy with E, I was still pretty active between being bedrests. The couple months before Emry was born, I was walking constantly. Had to get that baby out of my belly. The biggest change then came after, when he got so fussy, and had problem after problem, and was just sick...for so long. All those endless nights, and I suppose there were days in there too...it all just flew by. I was out of it. Other things got out of control. When one thing gets like that in my life, I have a tendency to feel overwhelmed, and then let go...hide under a rock...and things spiral from there.
Well, things always change. And this isn't who I am. So it's time for a change. The theme of my life right now is purpose. I am finding purpose in so many ways. Of course, the #1 way is God. I've been going to church and I am going to join a group this fall through the church. So because of this theme, I am developing a list of goals. My life is changing a lot right now, and although it's all for the better, it's going to be really hard to fix some of the things that I have let get out of control.
Goals:
{1} to have daily time with God, weekly time at church, and join mums this fall
{2} to do the couch to 5K (more on this later)
{3} to give up control and trust the people that are around me to take that control
{4} to eat meals at the dinner table with my husband and kids, and pray before each meal
{5} to plan meals, use coupons, and do so with healthy thoughts ;)
{6} to have a system of organization and follow it throughout the house
{7} to have a time every week set aside for family-time, where Jon and I and the kids do something together
{8} to have a time every week set aside for just Jon and I, no tv, where we can connect and talk and be focused on each other
{9} to always do something creative everyday-write, photos, music, draw...something every single day
This is my nine-week plan.
Of course, I always have to have some sort of mantra, so this song is where I'm at, and where I'm going.
"Break Me Down" -Tenth Avenue North
Yeah I feel You falling
Like the rain against my skin
And I hear You calling
Your voice like thunder in my head
But now I am stalling
'Cause I'm afraid to let You in
Come break me down with Your mercy
Come break me down again
I'm Yours tonight
I'm Yours if You can break me down
Break through these walls I hide behind
I'm Yours tonight
Come and break me down
Won't You break me
Won't You break me down
I feel it inside me
I feel You underneath my skin
These walls could not hide me
They could not keep you from coming in
So now here You find me
Right back to where I began
Come break me down with Your mercy
Come break me down again
I'm Yours tonight
I'm Yours if You can break me down
Break through these walls I hide behind
I'm Yours tonight
Come and break me down
Won't You break me down
Break me down, oh
Come and break me down
'Cause I need Your strength to feel this weak
I need Your touch to feel my need
I need Your strong hands to carry me
Take me break me set me free
'Cause I need Your strength to feel this weak
I need Your touch to feel my need
And I need Your strong hands to carry me
Take me bring me to my knees
I'm Yours tonight
I'm Yours if you can break me down
Break through these walls I hide behind
I'm Yours tonight
Come and break me down
Come and break me down
Come and break me down, yeah
Won't You break me down
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