08 June 2012
Last fall, right around the time the air was growing crisp and getting thinner and we were somewhere between stuffing our faces with turkey, we felt it. We were going to church every Sunday, feeling the presence of God, and knowing that something was happening. We already "know" that God has a calling for us. But at that point, we KNEW it. God wanted us to GO somewhere and do something. We went to an informational meeting, in which we were the only couple to show up, about a church planting mission. A somewhat long term mission overseas. Exciting, scary...we had absolutely no idea how on earth it could even happen. But we know that with God, not just anything is possible. These silly obstacles that seem so intimidating and impossible to us are NOTHING when God has something planned. Well, we kind of lost touch. I think that we were really onto something, that we were on the right track, but were weren't vigilant and we definitely weren't aware of what was happening. We let life get in the way in a major way, and we didn't even go to church for a good three months. We fell back into BLAH. But we have been getting back there again. And with that, comes the reason for this post. God spoke to Jon. He audibly told him, "Go." We have no specifics. We don't know if missions, or a move is in order....if God wants Jon to go do something tomorrow, or our family to make a huge life change. The only thing we know is that it is right, and that we need to pursue this, pray on it, and tell people about it. God's way will be revealed. And now I am having this sneaking suspicion that we are really at a crucial juncture. Not something that seems obvious to us, except we are under some major attack right now. Which is backfiring, because it is making me more aware of God, my need for him, our need to seek him together, and pray pray pray. I used to fly by the seat of my pants. I loved to be spontaneous and just do something. I have become someone who now finds comfort and safety in knowing what is going to happen. I don't think that is who I am, I think that is a comfort thing, we have become too comfortable here. Making rules for our lives and time is flying by without anything really happening. It is time for that to stop. I can't think of my little walls I've created as being an actual ok thing...they are obstacles to God's will. These walls are protection, but they won't really protect me from anything. They are illusion. The only real safety and protection is in Christ. Looking back from this place I am in now, I can see a theme emerging. When I graduated from high school, God told me to GO. Although I almost did, I chickened out and took the safe road. A year later, He was saying it again, but I was farther away...and couldn't hear Him clearly. I managed to make the biggst move of my life, I went to Grace University in Omaha. It is here that I made the most fulfilling relationships, had an amazing year, and learned about God in new ways. And I met Jon. We got married, and throughout our marriage, we have struggled with what to do. A little bit aimlessly we sought God in our own feeble ways, and just kind of drifted for awhile. We did a few different things. Took care of my grandparents, started school, quit school, played in a band, played in a handful of worship bands, almost finished a four year degree, had a couple babies....and started a photography business. All I know is that I have these skills inside me that are CRYING OUT to be used for God. All I want is to use them for His glory. That is the message that I get. Find a way! Jon hears the voice of God. I feel overwhelmed, totally and completely sure in a moment in time that I should be doing this. But again, no hows, no wheres. I think that in time, this post will be interesting. To see where our emotions, our hearts were in this intersection of our lives. Where we could do a thousand things, or not do anything, which I think would be worse. God is telling us to GO now and we are going to go. We are going. We are moving in the right direction, even though we don't know what direction that is. And he is going to reveal an awesome plan for us, for our family, and we are going to have an adventure for God. To live a life of meaning, and that meaning is all about His glory and other people.